Today marks 6 months, since I lost my mum. She was my best friend, the one person who knew me completely, she knew everything about me. If someone had told me this time last year that today I wouldn’t have her I’d be both devastated and confused. She sat me down on a number of occasions and explained what would happen, we hadn’t realised it would be so soon. I used to get upset, telling her to “stop talking like that,” I would say, “you’ll be here till you’re 100!” My nan lived till she was 103, even spoke about what she would do for her 105th birthday so I thought it was in the genes. Unfortunately mum didn’t even make it to 82, I knew she wouldn’t be in my life forever, I just thought I had a bit longer. Ironically she’s been the one helping me get my life back together without me realising it. Five things she told me in the last year, and I followed them through.

Supportive Circle

I’ve been fortunate enough to have a group of supportive and caring people in my life. I always have and always will make sure I’m surrounded by these same people. Mum always had a high quality of friends and that’s what I’d aimed for, to have friends like that and I do and she knew that, quite often telling me so. These friends have helped me through this, and part of me could’ve quite easily fallen apart these last 6 months. I feel like they’ve been surrounding me with bubble wrap with supportive messages on a regular basis and meeting up with them which has been amazing and I’ll be eternally grateful to each and every one of them.

Appreciate The Memories

From when mum started loosing her mobility we spent so much time talking about all the things we had done over the years. Memories which I’ll treasure, memories that I feel the need to keep to myself because it was between just her and I. If I wake in the middle of the night, she’s the first person I think of and that’s when I think about things we’d done. Keeping the memories alive is such an important thing to do when you loose someone, and quite often I talk to my boys about them too.

Have A Laugh

They say laughing is the best medicine, and they are so right. Mum and I would often giggle about things, watching something funny on television or just because we were on the same wavelength. When I first laughed after she died I stopped and felt guilty, I thought about her a lot and then realised that actually she would be pleased that I can laugh. She hated seeing sad people, and I know it’s such a cliche but she was always saying that a smile lights up the face completely.

Moving Forward

Even though she told me what would happen I had hoped that she would be wrong about some things. She gave me ways on how to move on which at the time I didn’t listen properly because I was in denial but now I think back and remember her saying certain things she’d said I can completely understand why she said it and I can now see she was giving me guidance.

Always With Me

She will always be there, whether I believe in it or not and I hope that she can see us all flourish and grow just like she did.

I hope on some level this can help at least one other person, by writing this has helped me so thank you for reading.