Ever since I’ve been doing the ‘pre-school run’ I have tried not to notice the slight clickyness. Mainly because I am a pre-school mum and the school mums and you can tell the difference. Last year I hadn’t even noticed it at all because I got on well with the other forest school mums, both mums to girls who played lovely with William. He still talks about them now with fond (not so distant) memories, they’ve now both moved up to primary school.

I should be prepared for it really, I mean I’ve had enough time of preparation for this over the years. The first time I had ever heard of the ‘school gate mums’ phrase was when I accompanied my sister in law to collect my niece and nephew from primary school. I remember her smiling and being friendly with other mums and I just smiled along, but I also remember the side glances they gave me. She introduced me and it was like I needed an introduction for accepteance. My sister in law had apologised for them when we got back home, saying that they’re a bit ‘clicky!’

Forward time to a few years later when my best friend became a school mum, she got on really well with her mum friends. Being all a similar age, she had more in common with them and they all lived quite locally. They spent a lot of social time together. It was nice to be able to talk to them, seeing the other part of her life.

So nowadays I’m trying sooo hard not to get too concerned that I’m not in with the ‘mums’. I am in my mid forties and I’m sure a lot of them are at least ten years younger than me. Then there’s social distancing and everyone has to wait at the same school gates for the junior and infant school as well as the forest school.

I am often surrounded by the mums in leggings and hair tied up with no make up, (I’m in awe of these mums.) They either have confidence or don’t give care about what other people think, I have to do something with my face and wear something presentable before I leave the house because that gives me the confidence to go out. Although the mask helps with that at the moment, hiding any self confidence I have in the bottom half of my face.

There is one particular mum who wears at least high heels and suits in full make up most days and I still can’t work out if she dresses up for her job or if she just likes to make an effort. I think some women have their priorities different, but we all live our lives differently.

I have to admit though these last two weeks I’ve let it get the better of me, mainly because William hasn’t been to forest school since December. But after Mike having the vaccine we decided he could go back (he was climbing the walls), and it really has been a really life changer and we are all so much happier (I think I actually skip sometimes when I walk).

However now it the new term I felt like an outsider all over again, I don’t know these mums and all I want to do is have a normal conversation with another mum. I hate not knowing what to say to the mum next to me, and wearing masks doesn’t help. Today, I made a subconscious effort and strike up a conversation with another mum. I’ve seen her and she looks an approachable looking mum, and it was lovely talking to her and it helped me deal with the anxiety I have is behind William going back at preschool.

There is a clickyness with mums at the school gates, and it always has been for many schools. But you just have to try and deal with it in a way that suits you, if you get on with them great. If you don’t or you would rather keep your distance then do it. But don’t rule out having mum friends straight away like I did. I’m putting William as my priority, I shall let him decide who he wants to be friends with and it’s a bonus if we also get on with the parents. I have built close friendships that I’ve had for a number of years, I also have a close fellow mum friend of a single boy. These will be the ones I like to think we will regularly socialise with but we’ll always have room for more friends! The more the merrier right??

Anyway until this social distancing thing eases and everyone is vaccinated we won’t be doing any socialising!