{"id":390,"date":"2020-11-20T13:51:00","date_gmt":"2020-11-20T13:51:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/?p=390"},"modified":"2025-02-27T13:54:31","modified_gmt":"2025-02-27T13:54:31","slug":"making-new-mum-friends-at-the-school-gates","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/?p=390","title":{"rendered":"Making New Mum Friends at the School Gates"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ever since I\u2019ve been doing the \u2018pre-school run\u2019 I have tried not to notice the slight clickyness. Mainly because I am a pre-school mum and the school mums and you can tell the difference. Last year I hadn\u2019t even noticed it at all because I got on well with the other forest school mums, both mums to girls who played lovely with William. He still talks about them now with fond (not so distant) memories, they\u2019ve now both moved up to primary school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com\/docsz\/AD_4nXcyv0MtMI0kp_3xKcCnwYHnnNrjlqPNRUtbpN9BGyCF2S5Pbs_tJtiY7Wmulji1EP3yaxAdraJQB5e10fxGdw1dx85bkvNbuJqoBxSatyxRX1anlET9xcmTRJVierw49EeTIOPrAQ?key=Tm8LfynvRevzqmOR3-7v0ljK\" alt=\"Mother a daughter walking both wearing ruck sacks\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I should be prepared for it really, I mean I\u2019ve had enough time of preparation for this over the years. The first time I had ever heard of the \u2018school gate mums\u2019 phrase was when I accompanied my sister in law to collect my niece and nephew from primary school. I remember her smiling and being friendly with other mums and I just smiled along, but I also remember the side glances they gave me. She introduced me and it was like I needed an introduction for accepteance. My sister in law had apologised for them when we got back home, saying that they\u2019re a bit \u2018clicky!\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Forward time to a few years later when my best friend became a school mum, she got on really well with her mum friends. Being all a similar age, she had more in common with them and they all lived quite locally. They spent a lot of social time together. It was nice to be able to talk to them, seeing the other part of her life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So nowadays I\u2019m trying sooo hard not to get too concerned that I\u2019m not in with the \u2018mums\u2019. I am in my mid forties and I\u2019m sure a lot of them are at least ten years younger than me. Then there\u2019s social distancing and everyone has to wait at the same school gates for the junior and infant school as well as the forest school.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I am often surrounded by the mums in leggings and hair tied up with no make up, (I\u2019m in awe of these mums.) They either have confidence or don\u2019t give care about what other people think, I have to do something with my face and wear something presentable before I leave the house because that gives me the confidence to go out. Although the mask helps with that at the moment, hiding any self confidence I have in the bottom half of my face.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There is one particular mum who wears at least high heels and suits in full make up most days and I still can\u2019t work out if she dresses up for her job or if she just likes to make an effort. I think some women have their priorities different, but we all live our lives differently.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I have to admit though these last two weeks I\u2019ve let it get the better of me, mainly because William hasn\u2019t been to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.theoutdoorlearningcompany.co.uk\/\">forest school<\/a> since December. But after Mike having the vaccine we decided he could go back (he was climbing the walls), and it really has been a really life changer and we are all so much happier (I think I actually skip sometimes when I walk).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lh7-rt.googleusercontent.com\/docsz\/AD_4nXcygiBa9lGf8a0btuLn8DHXsHCINjfop9mAnO9wVj-TcK6u6L0YWmnRvoc23ameZU4XSU-mYyMA-_YHyMhc0kTWePF9yvzss5y4LzkccYsP4HSaact8UCv6whlWmhzsuWDhZIal?key=Tm8LfynvRevzqmOR3-7v0ljK\" alt=\"boy in the forest\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">However now it the new term I felt like an outsider all over again, I don\u2019t know these mums and all I want to do is have a normal conversation with another mum. I hate not knowing what to say to the mum next to me, and wearing masks doesn\u2019t help. Today, I made a subconscious effort and strike up a conversation with another mum. I\u2019ve seen her and she looks an approachable looking mum, and it was lovely talking to her and it helped me deal with the anxiety I have is behind William going back at preschool.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">There is a clickyness with mums at the school gates, and it always has been for many schools. But you just have to try and deal with it in a way that suits you, if you get on with them great. If you don\u2019t or you would rather keep your distance then do it. But don\u2019t rule out having mum friends straight away like I did. I\u2019m putting William as my priority, I shall let him decide who he wants to be friends with and it\u2019s a bonus if we also get on with the parents. I have built close friendships that I\u2019ve had for a number of years, I also have a close fellow mum friend of a single boy. These will be the ones I like to think we will regularly socialise with but we\u2019ll always have room for more friends! The more the merrier right??<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Anyway until this social distancing thing eases and everyone is vaccinated we won\u2019t be doing any socialising!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ever since I\u2019ve been doing the \u2018pre-school run\u2019 I have tried not to notice the slight clickyness. Mainly because I am a pre-school mum and the school mums and you can tell the difference. Last year I hadn\u2019t even noticed it at all because I got on well with the other forest school mums, both [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":53221594,"featured_media":392,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[5309],"tags":[406,16950,124,3785,349],"class_list":["post-390","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-parenting","tag-family","tag-grief","tag-life","tag-love","tag-writing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pgmcKn-6i","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":416,"url":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/?p=416","url_meta":{"origin":390,"position":0},"title":"TED Talks","author":"Annabel","date":"17\/09\/2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Do you ever get to the end of the week and wonder where it went? I cannot believe it\u2019s Friday already. One minute I\u2019m trying to keep up with what needs doing then BANG, the weekend is here. It\u2019s no rest for us though is it? This mum lark wasn\u2019t\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Adulting&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Adulting","link":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/?cat=54614915"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/bogomil-mihaylov-ekhshvgr27k-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/bogomil-mihaylov-ekhshvgr27k-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/bogomil-mihaylov-ekhshvgr27k-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/bogomil-mihaylov-ekhshvgr27k-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/bogomil-mihaylov-ekhshvgr27k-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1140,"url":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/?p=1140","url_meta":{"origin":390,"position":1},"title":"The Ultimate Guide To Being A Mum (Without Completely Loosing Your Mind)","author":"Annabel","date":"14\/05\/2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Being a mum is already a full-time job. Add in caring for an older parent, working full or part time, trying to remember if you\u2019ve actually washed your hair this week and navigating the hormonal rollercoaster of perimenopause and suddenly surviving the school run deserves Olympic recognition. 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This is the sort of story that will have you smiling, laughing out loud and (in my case) crying. Just to clarify though, crying because I\u2019ve had an emotional couple of months after loosing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Reviews&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/?cat=309"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/img_5684.jpg.webp?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/img_5684.jpg.webp?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/img_5684.jpg.webp?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/img_5684.jpg.webp?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/img_5684.jpg.webp?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":92,"url":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/?p=92","url_meta":{"origin":390,"position":4},"title":"An honest post about feeling like an insta-mum fail","author":"Annabel","date":"19\/02\/2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Gotta be honest here but today has been the most trying yet, it seems to be getting more and more difficult to be able to switch off from life at the moment. I was hoping I\u2019d be used to this by now, knowing how to cope with and dealing with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blogging&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/?cat=91"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/liv-bruce-odihqypcuuk-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/liv-bruce-odihqypcuuk-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/liv-bruce-odihqypcuuk-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/liv-bruce-odihqypcuuk-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/liv-bruce-odihqypcuuk-unsplash.jpg?fit=1200%2C800&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":533,"url":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/?p=533","url_meta":{"origin":390,"position":5},"title":"The Next Chapter Starts With Me","author":"Annabel","date":"22\/05\/2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Life has been pretty unkind to me of late, loosing my mum last year was the final straw that broke the camels back...or so I thought. Unfortunately other events happened which resulted in me reassessing my life and wondering what I should do next. The thing is, I had always\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Blogging&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Blogging","link":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/?cat=91"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/pexels-photo-325117.jpeg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/pexels-photo-325117.jpeg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/pexels-photo-325117.jpeg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/05\/pexels-photo-325117.jpeg?fit=800%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/annabelwrites.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/02\/kimberly-farmer-luaakcuanvi-unsplash.jpg?fit=6016%2C4000&ssl=1","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/390","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/53221594"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=390"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/390\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":394,"href":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/390\/revisions\/394"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/392"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=390"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=390"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=390"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}