{"id":1618,"date":"2026-11-05T14:48:19","date_gmt":"2026-11-05T14:48:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/?p=1618"},"modified":"2026-11-05T14:48:19","modified_gmt":"2026-11-05T14:48:19","slug":"the-menopause-my-nearly-teenager-and-the-blinking-tablet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/?p=1618","title":{"rendered":"The Menopause, My Nearly Teenager and the Blinking Tablet"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The diary of a 50-something-year-old mum who deserves a medal, a fan and five minutes of peace.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Monday \u2013 The Day I Became Background Noise<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

7:15 am. I entered my son\u2019s<\/a> bedroom to wake him up for school. He was cocooned in his duvet, surrounded by soft toys, looking like a child who\u2019d been raised by wolves and sponsored by Minecraft.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCome on. You\u2019ll be late.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI don’t wanna go to school.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ah, yes. The famous tween-in-training minute. A mysterious unit of time lasting anywhere between thirty seconds and three geological eras.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I returned five minutes later. Still horizontal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cGET UP!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy are you shouting?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because, my darling child, I\u2019m fifty one, menopausal<\/a> and currently experiencing the internal temperature of a baked potato. I\u2019m not shouting. I\u2019m simply projecting my voice across the burning ruins of my patience.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"dramatic<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

By 8 am, we were both furious, he was finally dressed, and I\u2019d forgotten where I\u2019d put my phone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mum\u2019s survival tip:<\/strong> Give clear instructions and a countdown. \u201cYou need to be dressed in ten minutes\u201d is better than repeating yourself seventeen times until you sound like a malfunctioning Alexa. Get him to set his own alarm, too. You are his mother, not a human snooze button.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tuesday \u2013 The Tablet Has Custody of My Child<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I asked my son to lay the table for dinner.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI’m just doing something.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course. Because apparently the fate of civilisation rests on whether a collection of pixels can survive another round.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Twenty minutes later, the table is still bare, I’m waiting to place the food out but there is no cutlery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Hello? Table needs to be laid.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He ignored me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Did you hear me?” I am now raising my voice.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“There’s no need to shout.” Yet he continues to play.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I briefly considered turning off the WiFi. Then I remembered that I value my own life and didn\u2019t fancy being the subject of a documentary called Mother Causes World War Three<\/a><\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Instead, I told him to stop the game and it could wait until after dinner. We settled on a routine: finish the task, then play. No endless negotiations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mum\u2019s survival tip:<\/strong> Agree on gaming limits when everyone is calm, not halfway through a building a bridge in Minecraft world or avoiding creepers or whatever else is apparently more important than food. Set expectations in advance, use a timer and follow through consistently. The aim is not to ban fun; it\u2019s to teach balance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Wednesday \u2013 Hot Flushes and Hot Tempers<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Today, my hormones<\/a> decided to host a rave without inviting me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I was standing in the kitchen almost in the freezer, enjoying the only pleasant climate I\u2019d experienced since 2019, when my son shouted.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCan I go on my tablet?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I replied, \u201cHave you done your homework?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTidied your room?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPut your clean clothes away?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI’m too tired to do jobs.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Somewhere deep inside me, a tiny woman wearing a headset whispered, Respawn. Do not engage.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I took three slow breaths and ignored him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I sat down with a fan pointed directly at my face and ate an ice cream with the quiet determination of a woman rebuilding civilisation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mum\u2019s survival tip:<\/strong> Menopause can affect sleep, mood and concentration, making everyday frustrations harder to manage. If you feel yourself boiling over, pause the conversation. Say, \u201cI\u2019m too wound up to discuss this properly. We\u2019ll talk in ten minutes.\u201d If symptoms are affecting daily life, speak to your GP. You deserve support, not just a larger handbag full of fans.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"overhead<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Thursday \u2013 The Backchat Olympics<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

\u201cCan you put your clean clothes away?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cI’ve made sure you’ve got clean clothes, the deal is that you put them away.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He rolled his eyes so dramatically I thought they might fall out and bounce under the sofa.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I asked him whether he\u2019d like to explain his point without the attitude.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhatever bruh.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cExcellent. A compelling argument. I shall alert the press.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I had to bite my tongue to stop myself laughing. It\u2019s difficult to maintain parental authority when your own sarcasm is trying to sabotage you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mum\u2019s survival tip:<\/strong> Don\u2019t get dragged into a battle of the last word. Calmly say, \u201cYou\u2019re allowed to disagree, but you\u2019re not allowed to speak to me disrespectfully.\u201d Then return to the original request. Praise him when he does communicate respectfully. You\u2019re teaching him how to argue without turning the lounge into a courtroom.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Friday \u2013 I Am Not the Household Help Desk<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

At 6 pm, my son appeared in the kitchen while I’m making myself and husband a cup of tea<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMum, my tablet battery has died.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo you want me to?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy was it not on charge?\u201d Like I’m supposed to know when it’s needs charging, I have my own stuff to deal with.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I looked at him. He looked at me. Somewhere, a washing machine beeped, the kettle boiled, and my last surviving brain cell handed in its resignation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDid you not put it on charge this morning?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cAnd I guess you didn’t check it when you got back from school?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSo your process currently consists of asking me because?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He grinned. \u201cYou\u2019re my mum and you know everything?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

“Nice try.”<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I am trying to retire<\/a> from the being the mum who knows everything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mum\u2019s survival tip:<\/strong> Let your child solve age appropriate problems independently. Instead of immediately rescuing him, ask, \u201cWhen does it normally need a charge?\u201d or \u201cWould it be an idea to put on charge while I’m at school?\u201d Helping children build independence is a lot less exhausting than being permanently on call.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"a<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Saturday \u2013 The Great Lego Collection<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

I opened his bedroom door and discovered a habitat that would interest environmental scientists. Mainly dust on the units<\/a> and on the Lego he’s constructed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cRight. We\u2019re sorting this out today.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cDon’t touch my Lego<\/a>.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cLook at the dust around your room.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWhy? I like it dusty.\u201d He claims.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because I enjoy clean things and oxygen and currently your bedroom is testing its limits.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We couldn’t agree on a compromise, I didn’t think it was too hard to ask that he dusts seeing as I wasn’t allowed to touch it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He grumbled, but he did it. Relucatantly, with a fluffy make up brush and then I followed around him with the hoover.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I later celebrated quietly with a cup of tea. It’s not to my standard of clean, but at least he made some sort of effort of it.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mum\u2019s survival tip:<\/strong> Break overwhelming jobs into small, specific tasks. \u201cClean your room\u201d can feel enormous; \u201cput your washing away and clear your desk\u201d is manageable. Offer choices where possible, but keep the expectation firm. Independence grows through practice, not through Mum doing everything while muttering under her breath.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sunday \u2013 Peace Talks and Takeaway<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

Sunday began with a suspicious silence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

My son was gaming. I was drinking tea and trying to remember why I\u2019d walked into the kitchen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then he appeared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMum, can we get chinese tonight?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I looked at him. \u201cHave you done your homework?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cTidy your room?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cMostly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cPut your clean washing away?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

He sighed. \u201cYes, Mum.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I smiled. Progress! Not perfection, but progress.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We ordered chinese, and he told me about his game. I listened, even though I understood approximately three words and one of them was probably a character\u2019s name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"food<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Later, I told him that I knew I could get snappy when I was tired or overwhelmed, but I still expected him to pull his weight and speak respectfully. He admitted that sometimes he ignored me because he knew I\u2019d repeat myself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well. There\u2019s a little family therapy nobody ordered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

We agreed to try clearer routines, fewer reminders and more responsibility on his side.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then I went to bed, where I experienced a hot flush so powerful I briefly considered sleeping in the fridge.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Mum\u2019s survival tip:<\/strong> Make time for connection that isn\u2019t about chores, homework or screens. Ask about his interests, share a laugh and notice the good moments. Keep boundaries predictable, apologise when you get things wrong and remember that tweens in training still needs a parent even when they’re acting as though you\u2019re an embarrassing customer service representative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"origami<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Being in my fifties with a ten year old boy is a special kind of endurance sport. You\u2019re navigating hormones, mood swings, sleepless nights and a child who believes taking his dirty plate out to the kitchen requires a written invitation from Parliament.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But the secret isn\u2019t to win every argument. It\u2019s to stay consistent, choose your battles, keep your sense of humour and remember that you\u2019re raising a person, not managing a small, sarcastic employee.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Set clear expectations. Let natural consequences do some of the work. Make room for conversations that don\u2019t end in a lecture. And when your patience disappears, take a breather before responding.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most importantly, look after yourself, too. You cannot pour from an empty cup, especially when that cup is full of cold tea, your hormones are hosting a bonfire, and someone has just shouted, \u201cMUM! THE WI-FI\u2019S GONE!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because one day, they\u2019ll grow up, move out and do their own washing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And you\u2019ll miss them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Possibly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But you will absolutely enjoy having control of the television remote again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"person<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The diary of a 50-something-year-old mum who deserves a medal, a fan and five minutes of peace. Monday \u2013 The Day I Became Background Noise 7:15 am. I entered my son\u2019s bedroom to wake him up for school. He was cocooned in his duvet, surrounded by soft toys, looking like a child who\u2019d been raised […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":53221594,"featured_media":1623,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_wpcom_ai_launchpad_first_post":false,"_jetpack_hide_featured_image":false,"_jetpack_featured_image_duplicate_dismissed":0,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[54614915,91,5309],"tags":[774471816,406,774471817,124],"class_list":["post-1618","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-adulting","category-blogging","category-parenting","tag-boy-mum","tag-family","tag-gaming","tag-life"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pgmcKn-q6","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1140,"url":"https:\/\/annabelwrites.com\/?p=1140","url_meta":{"origin":1618,"position":0},"title":"The Ultimate Guide To Being A Mum (Without Completely Loosing Your Mind)","author":"Annabel","date":"14\/05\/2026","format":false,"excerpt":"Being a mum is already a full-time job. Add in caring for an older parent, working full or part time, trying to remember if you\u2019ve actually washed your hair this week and navigating the hormonal rollercoaster of perimenopause and suddenly surviving the school run deserves Olympic recognition. 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Mainly because I am a pre-school mum and the school mums and you can tell the difference. 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I cannot believe it\u2019s Friday already. One minute I\u2019m trying to keep up with what needs doing then BANG, the weekend is here. It\u2019s no rest for us though is it? 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