As a parent, it’s very easy to see yourself as the ultimate authority figure in your child’s life. Of course you wouldn’t be mistaken. You are responsible for the health and wellbeing of any children you have and that means setting boundaries, rules, a lifestyle, conditions and protective measures to ensure that takes place. In other words, you are the authoritarian when it comes to the wellbeing and safety of your child. But do you know how to have the essential skills of parenthood? If you don’t this post will guide you.

That said, parenthood also comes with many humilities that can be difficult to learn. For example, as well as you shape it you are not ultimately fully responsible for the personality of your child. You can teach them rules, standards, principles and serve as the perfect example for all of these as well as laying out punishments for when they misbehave. But when all is said and done, the personality of your child is their own not entirely yours to mould.

For this reason learning where and when these humilities can be accepted is essential if we’re to be not just attentive but also the mature parent. Let’s consider how and why this modesty is needed.

Requiring Assistance With Some Developmental Needs

Not all children develop at the same rate, and it’s no slight on your parenting to request that extra help. For example, your child may develop a phobia they need to work through with a child psychologist or perhaps require extra support through difficult life situations like the loss of a relative. There’s no shame in asking for help with your parenting to ensure the wellbeing of your child.

Trust & Independence

As your child gets older, they will inevitably become more independent. This sometimes means trying to find themselves out of your influence. That doesn’t mean you’ll just let them go anywhere out of the house in their young teenage years of course. It does mean little things (like allowing them to play at a friend’s house,) having them enjoy extra curricular activities and at some stage having a their first girlfriend or boyfriend can be important at the appropriate age. Of course, you’re absolutely allowed to put your own boundaries where you think they are necessary based on your good judgement. But parenthood is as much about letting go responsibly as it is protecting them from every danger.

No One Is Perfect

It’s important to remember that no parent or child is perfect, nor can they be perfect, nor would you want them to be perfect. You might struggle to keep calm now and again (learning to healthily process and having a sense of humour is also an essential skill of parenthood), your child may misbehave and learn a lesson the hard way and you may find that despite your best intentions your child falls over, accidentally sees part of a scary movie when walking into the living room or needs to work through bed wetting. Keep the compassion at the forefront and give yourself the benefit of the doubt. Remember it’s the first time through life for both you and your child and allow the necessary empathy that provides.