They say that a high percentage of people have someone toxic in their family. Some people find it more upsetting than others. Then there are those who genuinely don’t know how to deal with them. In this blog post I’m going to talk about this and the many ways you can deal with toxic people in your life.

Do they even know they’re toxic?

Some don’t even realise that they are toxic, because they don’t know any different. In fact, people that are toxic don’t seem to care that they can affect others in a negative way. There are many signs that you may recognise that toxic people can do:

• You feel emotionally drained after spending time with them
• They bully you or try to control you
• They use you and others to get their own way
• They never give compliments
• Everything is always about them
• Their idea of communication is constantly talking about themselves without listening

What can you do?

To turn the other cheek is to refrain from retaliating when one has been attacked or insulted.

Matthew 5.39, The Bible.

This is a phrase that is used to help people overcome many things such as bullying, however in this case it’s different. If you do have a toxic person in your life, most of the time they will thrive on negative backlash as they love to argue. So it is best not to give them what they want, unfortunately the only person that will ultimately get upset is yourself.

Another way of dealing with this is to get support. Whether it is a friend or family, having support and someone to talk to can be a great way of helping. Even better if they know the person and know what you are going through. You may find that someone else feels the same way about that person and has a way of dealing with it that you can also try.

When it’s family

It is always a difficult one when it’s family, especially when it is someone you see on a regular basis. It is easier if they do not live locally. Someone you only see once or twice a year means you only have to put up with it for small amounts of time. If you see them more regularly you almost have to have a thick skin to put up with it, because, they are family.

About twelve years ago my friend had a sister that did this to her. She moved away to another country to get away from her. But at one point things had majorly got out of hand. That is all I’m going to say about that because I respect her privacy. (Just to note I did check with her and she was happy for me to put this in my blog post.)

Work colleagues or neighbours

I personally think these are two of the most difficult ones because it is someone ultimately that you see on a daily basis. You have to almost assess how bad it is, because if it is affecting you that much that it’s making you ill then the obvious one is to move. No one person is worth making yourself ill because it will affect your mental health.

However, if you’re in a position where you do not or cannot move then there are ways you could directly deal with the situation.

You could write to them if you feel uncomfortable about approaching them. Explain how they make you feel. The majority of the time they don’t know they’re doing it. Also, mutual neighbours or colleagues could help you deal with this also giving you the support you need.

Friends

Personally I have been through this, and the best way I dealt with it was just to not bother with them at all. When someone makes you feel like this, why are you friends with them? Because frankly, loyalty should not even come into it because they’re certainly not being loyal to you.

You can either phase them out (which could work better for you) or you could just move on from them. Stop contacting the (so called) friend convincing yourself that you no longer have anything in common. Lifestyle changes, things happen every single day where friends don’t see each other as much as they used to. This is just a way of looking at it.

Conclusion

At the end of the day people that have a detrimental affect on your mental health are toxic. Whether they realise they’re doing it or not is something to think about, but the majority of the time they do. You and your life and your real friends and family around you are much more important. Spending time with people that make you feel good about yourself is the most important thing in the world.

I hope this blog post has helped you and given you strength to help deal with these toxic people in you life.