It doesn’t matter how many children you have and what age they are and also what age you are. So how is parenting becoming life of double standards? It’s not becoming because it was already there, it was just a bit of a taboo subject.

When I say a taboo subject I mean just something that alot of people don’t talk about. When we think back to the 70s and 80s; men were at work and most women were staying at home. However nowadays men are taking on more of an active part of parenting. Or are they?

“Ask your mum, she wears the trousers in this house.”

I hear of mums who put down partners because they don’t take responsibility for any sort of parenting. Many children are always favouring towards one particular parent asking them questions or to make decisions. I do wonder if it’s because the other parent is doesn’t want to make the wrong decision. In which case the main parent will then get defensive about decisions. Time when they decide that yes the can watch TV when in actual fact they’ve already watched enough that day.

It is a generalisation that the main carer is the nurturing one (normally mum). The one who does so much organising. I saw something on social media recently that said, put a mother as prime minister! I totally agree with this, all the responsibilities they have. Being PM would be a breeze for some mothers.

We all want an easy life don’t we? I know I would love that, however parenting isn’t the best way to get it. It is one of those situations again, where the second parent does do things for an easy life. Some do it more than others, and I am not generalising here because we are all different.

Competition

Comparing which parent is more tired, who has done more and who acts like the better parent (and this is completely normal).

Parents can get quite defensive and one of the favourites phrases is, “I know you’re a better parent than me, you know what to do all the time blah blah.” You get the idea, and that’s not just parenting either.

We all have days when you’ve not stopped. Working a full day at the day job with no break, then having a mound housework as well as the school run (or childcare at the moment because it’s the summer holidays). But that is life now, and many parents do a similar thing.

‘Hinch’ work

Historically women didn’t like housework, and having a cleaner was stereotypically classed as lazy for many years. Nowadays thanks to people on social media like Mrs Hinch it is now fashionable, making their houses look aesthetically pleasing and it is very rewarding. The downside to this, when the other parent even tries to help, but the standard just isn’t the same level as yours. Or of course when the kids mess it all up!

Some of the comments I’ve seen….

“They left smears on the coffee table.” But it was wiped! Some wouldn’t even bother.
“There were marks on the skirting board from the hoover where it was bashed against it.” Maybe they wanted to leave proof that it was done?
“Hoovering around the furniture.” Maybe because you’d done such a great job the weekend that it only needing doing around the furniture.
“There is no space on the washing line/airer for the clothes to dry” Do they know to do this?

There are some eye rolls there, along with nodding? But is it really worth worrying about? In the scheme of things in life, does it really matter?

Foodie

According to a recent report on the best chefs of the world, did you know out of sixteen of them only one of them is a woman? I am not shocked, and I am going to put this out there and say that men do make better cooks. My husband does the majority of the cooking in our house, and it is a huge help to the whole family. And he enjoys it and so do we!

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This does go to show that it may feel like there is double standard living in your life, there is a way to get past it. Personally it’s not a major issue in my family life, and it’s really not worth it. Not when he cooks great meals that we all love.