Makes it sound like a card game, but sometimes that is how it feels. Dealing with what life has dealt to me, I guess it depends on what hand you’ve been given?

Struggling. I am being completely honest here but I am struggling with the fact that I’m forty six. There I said it. I am still trying to embrace it.I don’t know whether it’s because I’m temporarily off my HRT? It may be because I’m another year older.

Life stresses

I feel like I need to justify why I feel like this. I know many people see my social media and wonder if I do actually have any problems to deal with. I’m good at hiding things and how I really feel. I mean let’s face it there are many that are a lot worse off than me. I have known about me turning forty six for a whole year now I should be prepared for this. It’s dealing with what life has dealt and this last week is becoming another year older.

The way I try to deal with things is step by step as a boy band once sang back in ’87. And rightly or wrongly the first step is to have fun, or at least to TRY. No matter how crappy life is, there is one thing that we must be going right? For me, it’s work. I like how work is at the moment, even though we’re currently going through a restructure. I know that it’s the first time I’ve been completely happy in a job. There is lots of factors within this statement. I won’t go into them though, because it could be extremely boring.

Hiccups

It doesn’t matter how you word it, this is never a positive thing. The literal term hiccups can be painful for anyone anyway. This is just when things come up in life that send you in the direction you were coming. For me, it’s my blog that sets my mood. My DA was getting higher and higher and I was really enjoying my writing. Then for one reason or another I don’t write anything and that DA number has dropped dramatically. Luckily my DA isn’t that important at the moment but one day it will be.

Sensory

My boy is really into comforting at the moment, it’s been going on for almost a year now. He knew start of school was coming. This is the way he deals with it turning to soft things whether it be a teddy, jumper or blanket. And in this weather is quite crazy, but it’s true. Research has shown (work head on again) that your senses can be a way of helping with anxiety. Slightly contradictory if you know about Sensory Anxiety, but it does kind of make sense. You know how good it feels when you get in bed and it’s fresh clean bedding? That’s not the inner Monica, that is a comfort thing.

My sensory thing is music. This is quite common, but I wonder who listens to New Kids on the Block to get over anxiety issues. I have a playlist which most of the time gets me out of my slump.

This time though it is working, but not as well as it usually does. I’ve even been listening on my headphones to House Party, which normally really does help but this time not so much.

The other sensory thing is taste, and the first thing that comes to mind is chocolate. Again, a comfort thing, but I’m trying not to get back into that vicious circle. I managed to loose a stone in lockdown, then gained weight through comfort eating. Now back to the weight I was when I lost I am that yoyo dieter. There are so many people telling you what to eat and what not to eat. I know the best things to eat but I still go back to eating the wrongs thing because they comfort me.

What’s your favourite smell? According to Ranker the best smell in the world is freshly baked bread which I understand. So there you have it when dealing with what life has dealt, go inhale, listen, taste or feel your favourite.