This seems to be my motto, more so recently but it’s been pretty much this all my life. From when I was a child I didn’t want to be the same as the next child, I always wanted to be different. As a teenager I didn’t want to be the same as my friends, which looking back could’ve been a good thing but sometimes not so much. I hate being in fashion, so when people were wearing double denim and shell suits I was in jeans and a tracksuit top just to be different. LUCKILY there was no social media in those days, so we don’t have any evidence of it.
I’m secretly pleased when I see youngsters that are dressed differently to their friends, a group of girls I remember seeing in town years ago all had the same clothes on apart from one girl. I would’ve been such a proud mum if that was my daughter. William pretty much lets me decide what he wears but he likes to match colours, I’m sure he gets his fashion sense from me but he does like to dress like his dad so he wears jeans and a different top. To be fair he does live in jeans because these are the only things that fit him properly because he’s tall and slim.
Talking to my hairdresser/friend this morning while she was perming my hair this morning (I know it’s not the 80’s but have you not been reading this post?) we were comparing the insides of our wardrobes. Hers is mostly black clothes and jeans and mine is mostly jeans and long tops enough to cover my big ass.
The conversation started because there are so many youngsters that don’t know how to dress for their shape, they just follow fashion of what’s on instagram or facebook. I am no Gok Wan but I do know what suits me and what suits the next person, I’m (ahem) overweight and I know full well that if I do have to wear leggings a very long top or dress should be worn over the top. I keep seeing girls wearing leggings and short tops and even if they’re slim it still doesn’t look right.
This is why I miss going clothes shopping so much, being able to try on clothes to see what they look like on. I did on online shop last week on Boohoo (who decided to call an online retailer boohoo) and for the first time in ages I didn’t send one thing back, so I think I’m getting used to the sizes and what suits. And it is quite nice to open my wardrobe and see other clothes in there besides the same clothes I’ve been wearing for the past three years.
Going back to where we were, someone randomly put on facebook this morning, “if you could tell yourself one thing to help with motherhood when your little one was a baby what would it be?” I used to hate these questions, wondering why anyone would do this to yourself, I mean why would you even think about what you would do back in the past? It’s not like you can travel back in time and tell yourself this is it? Then the realisation hits me that it could help someone else. Someone who had the same issues as you with a new born, another parent who is constantly worrying about something and wondering if they’re doing the right thing.
I was told this but didn’t listen, I was given this advice by a couple of people but it took me a while to realise that actually they’re right (I am sooooo stubborn). “Don’t compare, because each child is different.” It’s quite an open statement, but it’s so true. I was always ‘why is William not sleeping well?’ or ‘why isn’t he walking/talking’. Should I be worried that ‘he doesn’t sit up right’ or concerned that ‘he can’t sleep in a cot and has to fall asleep on me?’ I had to really think back then to how I actually felt when I was thinking these things, why did I not remember what everyone said to me and TAKE IT ONBOARD. I spent so many times worrying about things out of my control, wondering what I was doing wrong and all that time I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I was and still am a great mum to that boy, my husband and family and friends are regularly telling me this (not too much I don’t want my head to grow). However, it did take me a long time to realise this.
Are you a parent? I’m going to be quite frank now, I’m pretty sure you’re doing the best job you can to your ability. You’re a perfect mum/dad to that child of yours, you know why? Because of that specific reason, you are their mum/dad and no one else can do a better job than yourself. You do everything in your power to be a good parent and that is all they need. Some parents work part time, some full time, or even don’t work at all. But it makes absolutely no difference, you may feel guilty or not but that little person does not know any different and will love you whatever you do. There’s the mum that lives up the road that has a different lifestyle, but you know what, her mothering skills are as good as yours and her child will love her no matter what.
So I guess the title has quite an in-depth meaning here and it can be taken in very different ways, some say that all children are different and we shouldn’t compare. It’s also good that we are all different and like different things, I personally don’t like to follow trends so the only hashtag I’ll be making is #letsbedifferent.