I love my job

I woke up this morning (my first non working day of the week) full of cold, feeling sorry for myself and just wanted to curl up in bed. However apparently you can’t do sick when you have a child now!

Of course he’s full of energy and of course I just want to lay on sofa and just watch him play, but how selfish would that be? I’m sucking it up and drinking my third coffee already, and lots of cake needed today (so the diet is out the window then!)

He’s got back teeth coming through also at the moment and doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going, he puts his fist in his mouth and looks at me crying so I go to cuddle him to help sooth him but he pushes me away and crawls off…he doesn’t know what he wants.

Must be hard going through so much pain and not being able to say where it hurts, all of a sudden my little cold doesn’t seem that important. Me wanting to stay in bed all day is just lazy and I need make sure he’s ok, he’s throwing his toys around the room in frustration, I can see it on his face why is the inside of my mouth hurting, I’m going throw this toy so hard to show how angry I am. Obviously it makes no difference but it seems to be making him feel a bit better.

I sit on the floor and put my arms out to him and he walks over and falls into my arms and he wipes his snot and eyes all over me, my ocd and my need to be clean all the time has soooo gone out the window since he’s come along. I hold him and he puts his thumb in his mouth and I can see he’s chewing it, I stroke his forehead and he’s almost asleep.

I put him in his cot and he rolls over to his front and puts his bum in the air (his favourite position) so I leave him and have a lie down myself.

I cannot relax, I worry about the pain he’s going through and I hear voices in my head of previous advice; sleep when he sleeps! What a load of rubbish, I then get up and make myself do some housework….god this job is so so hard, I think I need a pay rise!