I wouldn’t say that I’m a regular at my gym, I do visit on occasion but when I have I’ve enjoyed it. Having a nice swimming pool with a jacuzzi, steam room, sauna is a bonus. I must admit I would rather swim than visit the gym, but recently I’ve signed up to a group (yes yes i hear you cry, a group?) of people just like me that want to loose weight (I’ve renamed it fat club). So fat club starts on Thursday night and I thought I need to build myself up so that I don’t look totally stupid when he says ‘come on five more minutes…’ as I feel like I’m about to pass out on the treadmill, or worse……
So last night I went with my husband with the intention of doing long sessions on each of the equipment, which, no you thought right…..did. Not. Happen. However, I took the opportunity to look around me to try and pick up some tips from the others around me.
‘Posh Spice’, ok so not the real once I named her because when she spoke she had a plum in her mouth never broke sweat but spent most of her time flirting with the young men in there, mostly talking about her outfit and how in-appropriate it was for the gym (don’t wear it then sister if it’s not appropriate). It looked fine to me, I think she was more worried that it made her look flat chested because she spent the whole time rearranging them. Me on the other hand spent the time making sure mine were tied down properly because if those are not tied down I could’ve got a black eye!
Then there was ‘trigger’, yes he was the spitting image of Roger Lloyd-Pack…now this guy was a hogger. It seemed that whatever equipment I wanted to use, he was on it before I could say ‘hold your horses Del boy’. I moved past this and decided that whatever equipment he was on I could use next, but he soon caught on and decided that he was going to sit on the lateral trainer and do nothing. It was like someone taking the last of the coleslaw on the salad bar at a Harvester, annoying!
I spent about twelve minutes on the cross trainer, mainly for the great fat burning that it does but the other reason was to watch ‘daddy long legs’. And no I’m not talking about the extra large one on the outside of the window, but the guy on the treadmill. I swear his legs were so thin they would snap, I always thought that if you ran then the muscles build up on the backs of your legs but his looked like twiglets! When he ran he kind of ran skewiff, I wanted to stand behind him to check how he did it but the thought of him thinking I was checking him out….ewwwwww!
My husband sat the other side of the gym at one point, I could see the look on his face pondering on whether to go on the lateral trainer where he would be next ‘mr muscle’ who clearly should not have been wearing those leggings (left nothing to the imagination)…..or in the corner on some torture device that was next to mother and daughter bending over in front of him with their asses high in the sky (he didn’t know where to look bless him). Anyway, he settled for a back stretching exercise which kept him going till his face turned to relief as he saw me approaching to tell him that I had had enough of exercise for one evening.
As we tucked into a box of thorntons chocolates an hour or so later, he turned to me and said,
“That was a great workout’ and I smiled with a mouthful of chocolate responded, “Yes it was totally worth it!” So with that in mind, we shall be known as ‘mr and mrs in denial’.
So next time you’re in the gym and you see someone working up a sweat…..remember they’re going to go home and eat chocolate!